Two Confessions on One Night

The title says it all. Pretty good timing from those boys huh?
In all honesty, it's pretty burdensome.
Of course, both received a "no" from me. Those "we're better off as friends" statement.
I'm NOT interested, and never will be.

I respect that of course, they may have feelings of still trying to see that maybe I'll change my mind, but really, it won't.
And what's even more worse are the people around them, encouraging them to still go for it.
and those people are my friends. Whaaaa?
They know I'm not interested, yet they still encouraged my suitors to pursue me.
It's frustrating, if they are my friends, they should know where I stand.
and should help ME instead of them.

I'm a pretty private person. I like keeping things down low.
So low, that no one even knows I am currently dating this one guy.
But just dating, because I don't want to be in a relationship right now.

It is burdensome for me that these guys expresses their feelings to me in public, knowing that I just rejected them. Heck, people from San Leandro even knows now >.>
I don't blame them, it is their feelings, who am I to tell them to not express it?
But like I said, my personality finds it burdensome. I don't want to deal with those things.

I am spiteful, I have to say that. When it comes to rejecting guys,
if I don't like them, then it's a big NO and it will never change.
My mind and heart stays firm, because I have so many things to sort out right now,
it is not time for me to venture on relationships yet. So get that?
It would be nice to actually have some people around me to help me out,
to help me tell these boys there's no hope and they should not waste their time on me.
But noooo, the people aroundme really, encourages these boys more.

The people who actually knows me, who actually supports me are miles away from me.
It has been months since I last saw them, and I miss them dearly.
They love listening to my stories and I have to wait two more weeks to be reunited with them.
Better than nothing. I have been keeping this all to myself, once I see them,
I will surely let everything out~ because they know me.